Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since I found out that I have breast cancer. I was shocked! Completely shocked! I asked myself how it was possible...I am healthy, no history of breast cancer in my family and I am twenty nine years old! I believe I said "weird" for the first week. Don't get me wrong it is still weird but I am just learning to accept. I guess I accept it! It's almost like a huge dream not one I really care to keep replaying.
Last Tuesday I met with a plastic ssurgeon in South Portland. The Dr was a very nice guy who was full of knowledge. He informed me of my options. The simplest one being silicone implants. But he has to tell me about taking the fat from the belly along with the core muscles bring it all up through the chest in order to make smaller boobs than I already have. NO THANKS! Anna and Jen went to this appointment with me. They were great when it came to asking questions and making light of the situation.
Which brings me to my the friend department...
I am extremely lucky that I have the friends I do. I never thought about having anything like this happen so when I told my friends it made me realize that this is way more serious than I thought for. It also made me realize that I don't just have great friends I have the best friends in the world. They dropped everything to give me attention and to make sure I was doing OK. Some friends jumped on the ferry with all their children just to spend the night or even a couple hours with me, some sat at my house when I first found out there wasn't a whole lot to say but just knowing that they were there and I wasn't alone was enough. Just having everyone around changed my whole idea about being sick. (WEIRD,.....by the way I'm not really sick I am actually so healthy which may be some of the shock!)
My family has also been wonderful. They have made sure that I always know they are here for me if I need them. They are also very cautious of not smothering me. My brother made me go sailing just to take my mind off of it and I am so glad he did. My dad came home from Asia, my mom is there at the drop of a hat, my sister makes sure she calls to let me know she loves me constantly, my cousins lend cars and hugs. Really the list goes on.
Strangers or people I don't really talk to have come up to me and said nice encouraging words, hundreds of emails, left notes in my car and sent me mail. The card I received yesterday said "It's not about waiting for the storm to pass its about learning to Dance in the rain." I have read it over and over again. It is so true! In a situation like this I do have to just learn how to dance in the rain. This is not going to take over my life but hopefully it will improve my life and make me a stronger person.
Honestly, I don't feel like I have cancer. I am not even sure what it is suppose to feel like. I do experience anxiety because of the unknown but I do think that I will be fine. Yeah....I am gonna be fine!
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